Friday, April 25, 2003

PAIN

ache, misery, pang, stitch, throe, twinge,discomfort,
distress, hurt, suffering; agony, torment, torture,
Flickering,Quivering,Pulsing,Throbbing,Beating, Pounding,Flashing,shooting,prickling,drilling,stabbing, sharp,cutting,pinching,pressing,Cramping,crushing,tugging, pulling,wrenching,Hot,burning,scalding,searing,tingling, itchy,smarting,stinging,dull,sore,hurting,heavy,tender, taut,rasping,splitting,sickening,suffocating,punishing, grueling,killing,wretched,blinding,annoying,miserable, intense,unbearable,spreading,radiating,penetrating, piercing,tight,numb,drawing,squezzing,tearing,cool, nagging,nauseating,agonizing,torturing.

How do we describe pain? There is no object to this sensation. All other interior states have an object, I hate John, I have a fear of heights, I love Bonnie. The list could go on forever but the point is only pain does not have an object, we try to give it one, Its as if a hammer is hitting my head, Its as if a weight is on my chest. There is no weight or hammer. Pain destroys language. I try to explain the pain but all I ever accomplish is describing the effects of pain, I can't walk or I feel sad. I have started to try to find references to pain in poetry and literature, but guess what? I can't find many!
The best Nietzsche could muster was "I have given a name to my pain and its 'Dog'. "It is just as faithful, just as obtrusive and shameless, just as entertaining, just as clever as any other dog."
Huysmans says "The useless, unjust, incomprehensible, inept abomination that is physical pain."
T.S eliot put it best so far "A magic lantern threw the nerves in patterns on a screen." I think he came closest to hitting the mark.
Pain is certain (to the one in pain) to hear that another person has pain is to have doubt. its hard to understand to grasp.
One of the reasons who are quiting smoking seem to understand my pain is that the addiction to nicotine has the same effect as pain. it has no object (except the actual cigarette) but its not the cigarette we want, its nicotine. People who do not smoke do not understand the difficulty. People who are not in pain do not understand what it feels like. Because there are no words, but I will continue to search for them.