Charles Schultz Philosophy

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.

2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.

3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America Contest.

4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.

5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.

6. Name the last decade’s worth of World Series winners.

How did you do?

The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. They are not second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.
Here’s another quiz. See how you do on this one:

1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.

2.. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.

3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.

4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special..

5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Easier?

The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are NOT the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones who care.

The Straight Dope: If I fire a gun while near light speed, will the bullet EXCEED light speed?

If I fire a gun while near light speed, will the bullet EXCEED light speed?

if you ponder this matter awhile, you will inevitably come to the following conclusion: the faster you go, the slower you go. Ergo, the speed of light cannot be exceeded.

And you wonder why physics is my favorite subject.

Life

A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. An American tourist complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them.

"Not very long," answered the Mexican.

"But then, why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?" asked the American.

The Mexican explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family.

The American asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"

"I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, and take a siesta with my wife. In the evenings, I go into the village to see my friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs. I have a full life."

The American interrupted, "I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you! You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat."

"And after that?" asked the Mexican.

"With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City, Los Angeles, or even New York City! From there you can direct your huge new enterprise."

"How long would that take?" asked the Mexican.

"Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years," replied the American.

"And after that?"

"Afterwards? Well my friend, that's when it gets really interesting," answered the American, laughing. "When your business gets really big, you can start buying and selling stocks and make millions!"

"Millions? Really? And after that?" asked the Mexican.

"After that you'll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your friends."

And the moral of this story is: ......... Know where you're going in life... you may already be there.

i am in a constant battle with my mind. i go from thinking that i am special for being "intelligent" to realizing that being aware of my being special is, in fact a sign that i am just seeking attention and simply something i like thinking about myself. then i realize that being aware of that fact counter-acts itself, and i am stuck in an endless paradox of myself. i have not yet learned how to stop and just say "it doesn't matter"

WAYS IN WHICH
SPIDER-MAN DOES NOT
"DO WHATEVER A
SPIDER CAN."

BY JON MITCHELL

- - - -

Does not procreate with other spiders.

Does not wash down the drain easily.

Does not ambulate octopedally.

Does not produce warm glow of satisfaction at one's own beneficent and merciful nature upon escorting him gently outside in an upturned drinking glass.

MORE LISTS

High School 1957 vs 2009

by Dan Nickerson on 08/29/2009

Scenario 1:

Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck’s gun rack.

1957 – Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack’s shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.

2009 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario 2:

Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.

1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins.. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.

2009 - Police called and SWAT team arrives — they arrest both Johnny and Mark. They are both charged them with assault and both expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario 3:

Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students.

1957 - Jeffrey sent to the Principal’s office and given a good paddling by the Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

2009 – Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie. He is then tested for ADD. The school gets extra money from the state because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario 4:

Billy breaks a window in his neighbor’s car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt..

1957 – Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman.

2009 – Billy’s dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy’s sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy’s mom has an affair with the psychologist.

Scenario 5:

Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.

1957 – Mark shares his aspirin with the Principal out on the smoking dock.

2009 – The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations His car is then searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario 6:

Pedro fails high school English.

1957 – Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.

2009 - Pedro’s cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against the state school system and Pedro’s English teacher. English is then banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario 7:

Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant bed.

1957 – Ants die.

2009 – ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates his parents — and all siblings are removed from their home and all computers are confiscated. Johnny’s dad is placed on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario 8:

Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.

1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

2009 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison… Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

Escher's impossible box that I made for real.
No photoshop at all.

This Living Hand

This living hand, now warm and capable

Of earnest grasping, would, if it were cold

And in the icy silence of the tomb,

So haunt thy days and chill thy dreaming nights

That thou wouldst wish thine own heart dry of blood

So in my veins red life might stream again,

And thou be conscience-calmed—see here it is—

I hold it towards you.

John Keats

A Joint Invitation to Return to States’ Rights

Posted on 07 May 2009

by M.J. “Manny” Steele, South Dakota Representative (Dist. 12)

Greetings from South Dakota. I am proud to announce that South Dakota was the first state to accomplish bicameral passage of its resolution, HCR1013, to affirm our state’s rights.

Joining me today to announce the successful passage this year of their respective states’ rights resolutions are the primary sponsors and leaders from the following states:

• Alaska (HJR27) Passed House and Senate
  Mike Kelly, Dist. 7, Sponsor
  Gary Stevens, Senate President
• Georgia (SR632) Passed Senate
  Chip Pearson, Dist. 51, Sponsor
• Idaho (HJM004) Passed House and Senate
  Lenore Barrett, Dist. 35, Sponsor
  Dick Harwood, Dist. 2, Sponsor
  Lawerence Denney, House Speaker
• Missouri (HCR13) Passed House
  Jim Guest, Dist. 5, Sponsor
• North Dakota (HCR3063) Passed House and Senate
  Craig Headland, Dist. 29, Sponsor
  David Monson, House Speaker
• Oklahoma (HJR1003) Passed House and Senate
  Randy Brogdon, Dist. 34, Sponsor
• South Carolina (H3509) Passed House; Currently in Senate Committee
  Michael A. Pitts, Dist. 14, Sponsor
• South Dakota (HCR1013) Passed House and Senate
  Manny Steele, Dist. 12, Sponsor
  Dennis Daugaard, Lt. Governor
  Tim Rave, House Speaker

We have heard great news from Texas that its HCR50 passed committee April 23, 2009. Sponsoring Representative Brandon Creighton expects the House to pass the resolution very shortly. In addition, Arizona’s HCR2024 passed committee on April 14, and per Sponsoring Representative Judy Burges, it is expected to pass the House.

The Tenth Amendment to the United States Constitution expressly reserves all powers to the states which are not delegated to the federal government. Over the course of decades, there have been increasing federal mandates and acts designed to effectively step in and legislate the affairs of our various states from Washington D.C.

Federal usurpation into state affairs severely limits the ability of state governments to operate according to their citizens’ wishes. We believe that the best government is one which governs closer to the people.

As of this announcement, legislatures in nine states’ have acted on bi-partisan support and have passed their respective resolutions to affirm states’ rights. These are: Alaska (HJR27), Georgia (SR632), Idaho (HJM4), Indiana (SR42), Missouri (HCR13), North Dakota (HCR3063), Oklahoma (HJR1003), South Carolina (H3509) and South Dakota (HCR1013).

It appears that there are 25 more states which presently have similar resolutions pending.

The current price of erosion of states’ rights exceeds $11 trillion. Without the countless attempts in Washington to duplicate and micromanage our states’ affairs, much of this debt could have been avoided.

It is our sincere desire that each of you sees this popular issue as a means to more effectively carry out your duties to the citizens you work so hard to represent. We call on you to join us so that, together, we can make a difference.

Please do not hesitate to contact us with any questions or to discuss how our states can work together to bring back government closer to the people.

NEW PREAMBLE TO THE CONSTITUTION

NEW PREAMBLE TO THE CONSTITUTION

The Bear on May 08 2009 at 5:09 am | Filed under: Culture

“We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and other liberal bed-wetters. We hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights.”

ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended.. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone — not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc; but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be..

ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful; do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.

ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing.. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes ..

ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we’re just not interested in public health care.

ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don’t be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.

ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don’t be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won’t have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.

ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.

ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country. We don’t care where you are from, English is our language. Learn it or go back to wherever you came from!

(Lastly…..)

ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to change our country’s history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one true God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history, and if you are uncomfortable with it, TOUGH!

If you agree, share this with a friend. No, you don’t have to, and nothing tragic will befall you if you don’t. I just think it’s about time common sense is allowed to flourish. Sensible people of the United States speak out because if you do not, who will?

The person who invented this sentence is either a Vocabulary GENIUS or is absolutely JOBLESS.

Why?

You’ll soon find out !!!

Read the sentence below carefully…

“I do not know where family doctors acquired illegibly perplexing handwriting nevertheless, extraordinary pharmaceutical intellectuality counterbalancing indecipherability, transcendentalizes intercommunications incomprehensibleness”.

This is a sentence where the Nth word is N letters long.

e.g. 3rd word is 3 letters long, 8th word is 8 letters long and so on

Ian' homework

Ian had to memorize this part of the Declaration.
He and I did this to help him memorize it.

what happens!?
Fate will always bring what is destined.
But how we react?
How we use what destiny gives us,
Well, thats the rub.

Just perfect

The crowd at Lincolns first Inaugural

View the video at Sangent